AFTER BALDESSARI
Ink on Arches Paper
24” x 20”
Series of 5 Drawings
2018
In 1971, John Baldessari by way of letter correspondence, tasked the students of NSCAD to write on his behalf “I will not make anymore boring art” again and again, like lines, on the gallery walls of the Anna Leonowens. Baldessari dubbed this a ‘punishment piece’, but his own punishment, a kind of self flagulation, even if the work was to be carried out by others because he himself could not be present.
Much like Baldessari, I feel the pressures of being an artist, to make work, to make interesting work, to achieve success. But unlike Baldessari, I don’t believe the problem lies within making work that isn’t boring, but rather the ability to make at all. Time, money, and impetus continue to present themselves as hurdles to process and making in the studio. In a contemporary art world, where artists are increasingly achieving success academically, but failing in the competition of the art market, it is becoming increasingly difficult to make work without consequence, to be viable outside of capital, to make art at for arts sake. In the years since I have completed my post graduate studies, I have been crippled by the mounting pressures synonymous with holding a masters degree. Unable to reconcile myself to work, wrestling with feelings of worthlessness and doubt, because nothing seems to make sense, no work seems to matter. “After Baldessari” is an attempt at self reconciliation, at honesty, at failing. I remind myself, through blatant attempts of the completion of this work, a simple phrase from my childhood, “I think I can.”
